Sunday, December 2, 2012

Women and Men Think Differently

Women and men think differently. Most of us know that. Some people try to say it is nurture instead of nature, but I don't think so. I think we are hard-wired differently. But does it really matter at this point?
My Pastor actually showed part of a YouTube video with Mark Gungor explaining these differences dramatically. The video does an excellent job of showing the differences, but I'll still try to sum up what he says, but in my own words and with some of my own thoughts included.
Men compartmentalize everything. All topics and situations have their own little mental box. From personal experience I can tell you this is absolutely true. Talk to me about the car, and that's what we're talking about, not about whether we should plan a driving trip to Mexico. That's an entirely different box. I have to put the car box back into my brain - carefully, because it can't touch any other boxes - and take out the one for a trip to Mexico. If I don't have a trip to Mexico box I can create one, but give me a few minutes to process the request. During those few minutes my eyes will go out of focus, my face might get a little red, my tongue might express creative reasons why such a trip can't be made. Let me finish processing, though, and we can talk about it. Don't let me finish processing and I'll have a broken box in my brain. I won't be able to focus on what you want to talk about AND some part of me will blame you for interrupting the box-building process. I might run off to another room. That is probably simply to fix the box and finish processing the newness of it. I'll be back. I will certainly be more conversant. I will probably apologize (and, if I don't, I should).
Women connect everything. This is exactly why they can multi-task, although they really cannot do make-up, talk on the cell phone, adjust the radio and drive at sixty miles an hour down the freeway all at once. I don't care what they say. That's not multi-tasking, that's just nutty. Women think of one thing and that makes them think of something else, etc. etc. etc. (as the King of Siam would say). They can keep all these thoughts in their minds at once.
Women are brilliant. All these thoughts are connected by the most powerful energy in the universe - emotion. Really, it is. It wasn't hardware that took the United States to the moon. It was emotion - the fervor and passion to do something extraordinary before someone else could. Those poor astronauts traveled in a tin can and landed on the moon in an aluminum foil tinker toy. My kids played with stronger rockets than astronauts risked their lives in. HEROES, every one. (See? I pulled out my astronaut box and wanted to empty the entire thing right there on the page!)
So a woman will mention how dinner was nice, then think of the roast, remember the time we had some roast at dinner at that little restaurant, which reminds her of the nicest dinner we ever had, which was in Cabo and they served this amazing coffee and the sunset was so lovely and it was all so peaceful and when the sun set it got chilly but we didn't care, and why don't we go on vacation again, maybe someplace nice like Cabo.
I hear "Dinner was nice. Why don't we go to Cabo?" I'm totally confused. I was just finishing up the box for dinner and putting it into my brain, which, by the way, is getting a bit sleepy from having to manage a half dozen boxes in the last hour. Now I have to search for the box on Cabo. I might even panic.
Women are fantastic. They can connect the slightest details with no obvious clues. Darling will play checkers with me and have me beat before I can make three moves. I just don't know it until I'm ten or twelve moves into the game. She knows it though. At the same time she can describe to me what each of the kids was doing last time she talked to them, cry a little because she misses them all so much, and outline how we should plant a garden in the spring AND the price of groceries this morning.
Darling is amazing.
Now here's a cautionary note. Most guys don't expect their gals to think like them. To most men, the thought processes of females are a deep and unsolvable mystery, entirely beyond comprehension. There's a joke about that…
In my experience women believe men think like they do. Or they believe all men think about sex constantly. That part is true to some degree; sex seems to be the only thing that we don’t need to compartmentalize. Depending on our age, sex thoughts can randomly appear without the need to access them. (Careful, lads, what you put into your brains; it can come back to haunt you later - literally!)
Please, dear Women of the World, at least try to understand that we don't think like you do.
One more thing: a man has a box in his head that is there from birth, and it's a large and easily accessible box. He accesses it often. You'll know his brain has it out when he smiles stupidly and watches insipid television shows for hours on end. It isn't the sex box (we don't have a box for that, remember?).  It's the nothing box.

Mark Gungor says that some women come up to him after a conference and say "I finally get it! That nothing box is where he spends most of his time. Can I get in the nothing box with him?"

Uh, no. Think about it.
So when you ask us what we're thinking and we reply "Nothing," we really mean it.

Mark Gungor has much more out there that is useful for marriages. I can't cover it all here, but this should get you thinking a little. Except you guys - you're already thinking about nothing, aren't you?


<<Addition>>
I just ran across priceless advice for men when talking with their wives. Pay attention now, lads; these are important.
DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
DANGEROUS: Are you wearing THAT?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: Wow! Look at you!
DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.
DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
DANGEROUS: What did you DO all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe.

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