Friday, October 4, 2013

I almost said...

I never resolved the issue of my sister-in-law's review of my book. Amazon informed me that she didn't violate their posting guidelines so they wouldn't delete her post. I was welcome to write a comment to her review.
It took me about four tries to get one that sounded right.
Let's face it - what I really wanted to say was just as mean as what she said about me. Isn't it amazing how we can so easily stoop to poor behavior, yet it takes so much work to do the right thing? It reminds me of an old adage a Pastor once told me. He said that some girls will date a guy that just wasn't nice, saying something like "Well, I can convert him and make him good!" He called it missionary dating, I think. He was an older guy and just smiled when he told me about it. "It never works," he said. "When you put a white glove in mud, the glove gets muddy. The mud never gets 'glovey'."
So I worked on my response and finally posted this:
I tried to be nice and refrain from responding, but Amazon says that's my only option. You want the whole story? Check my blog post on this review at

Edna (Darling's brother Paul's wife) wrote this review. I could say a lot of nasty things about her and Paul and their relationship with Frau, but what's the point? They are ugly and unfunny stories. I left the stories out of the book, and I'll leave them out of this post as well.

Edna didn't even read the book. She is just being mean and hurtful toward the author because ... well, I can think of a lot of things they blame me for, but forget it. 

Edna, I can live with a one-star review, even if it's only ONE review. But at least READ the book.

This review is Edna's version of reality - and I'd like to just stay away from it entirely.
A dear friend of mine, Dovie, who did read the book, posted a sweet and honest review of the book. Thank you, honey.
Loved the book!!!
I had the privilege of personally knowing and dearly loving the mother-in-law who had the starring role in this light-hearted and humorous book. Although I had previously known about most of the incidents included in the book, I found the way that Vince penned them was both humorous and endearing. He was as truthful in his writing as he is in life. It depicts the very real relationship shared between THIS son-in-law and HIS mother-in-law. Though strained at times, as most are, I found it to be endearing to her memory. It's a treasure to me.

So I didn't say the first thing that came to my mind. In my experience, that's a good strategy. Along those lines, here's a list from my hard disk archive.

Have a nice Friday and a wonderful weekend!

Things You'd Love to Say at Work, But Can't
1. I see your point, but I still think you're full of crap.
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message..
8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
10. Ahhh... I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.
11. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.
14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
22. And your crybaby whiny-butt opinion would be...?
23. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
24. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
25. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
26. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
27. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
28. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
29. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
30. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
31. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
32. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
33. How do I set a laser printer to stun?

34. Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.

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