O-Dark-Thirty

I read an article not long ago titled "The Seven Secrets of Lasting Love" in which "experts reveal the keys to a long, happy, healthy marriage" and found it interesting, if not enlightening. Here are the seven secrets as they listed them: 1. Have realistic expectations 2. Sweat the small stuff 3. Consider yourselves a team 4. Accentuate the positive 5. Remember the little things 6. Have friendships with both sexes 7. Spend time apart I'm not sure these are actually secrets, but they may be unremembered when the bad times roll around. 1. Have realistic expectations I certainly agree that you need to have realistic expectations, in marriage but also in life. I have expectations for myself, most of them much higher than Darling has for me (thank goodness). I try to meet these personal goals, but quite often I am only moderately successful. Still, I try. I guess the current MBA term for these would be stretch goals. I learned long ago...

The Tragedy of the Commons One for all - that way is best. Take what I need and leave the rest. The commons had what we could take. They overlooked a key mistake. I did not need the golden ring, or any other golden thing. But they enhanced my mental health, and raised my group's entire wealth. Now they say there's not enough. Some took too much of all that stuff. The commons theory, well, it's done. Not one for all, but all for one! Tragedy of the Commons is recognized as far back as the writings of Thucydides and Aristotle (really! - see the Wikipedia ). Basically the problem is that individuals take care of their own property and view their own interests ahead of property that is held in common or shared interest. Go all the way back to early village agricultural days and see how the example works. Some of the villagers have cows. Since everyone in the town benefits directly or indirectly from the cows (they get the milk or buy the mil...

Escalation Archetype You know you did it. Yes, you do. You hit me hard. I hit you too. Then you hit me with your fist. I almost laughed, since you almost missed. I cracked your head with a brick. You smacked me hard with a stick. There wasn't much that I could do. I found a branch and hit you too. Then you hit me with your car. I limped away but not too far. I found a truck and went for you. But you were gone, and we were through. Of all the system archetypes I see escalation most often. I talk about it so much that escalation has even become dinner table talk. Darling recognized the signs in a conversation we had with another couple a few nights ago. "Ah," she said, "that's Escalation Archetype." As I previously posted, to fully understand an archetype, you should know the behavior to expect, and (since we're talking about systems), you should at least look at a causal loop diagram. The Causal Loop Diagram G...

I really like systems, and of all the courses I took to get my Master's in Studies of the Future from UHCL and Dr. Peter Bishop, the study of systems was my favorite. What Dr. Bishop said at the beginning of class was prophetic. "Once you learn about systems, you start seeing them everywhere." I do see them everywhere. I even did a study, my very favorite paper for class, to see if they were everywhere! Okay, they aren't, but they sure feel like it. (Do you get the sense that I run my life by feelings?) There exists a collection of System Archetypes which help show patterns of behavior that occur frequently in life. An archetype is defined as an original model you can use as the basis for an analysis. (That's a little clunky - go look it up here .) The ten standard System Archetypes are (in my own order): Escalation Tragedy of the Commons Success to the Successful Accidental Adversaries Shifting the Burden Limits to Growth (aka Limits to Succes...

Project management seems like the next big thing. For a while it was LEAN and LEAN Six Sigma, a combination of LEAN and Six Sigma, which are both process management/improvement disciplines. In 2007 I actually took the Green Belt courses in LEAN Six Sigma from Villanova U . I learned a lot, mostly terminology. A lot of it is common sense, which isn't common. Process improvement is still very important, though I'd venture to say that most of the low-hanging fruit is already plucked. That means improvements are harder now than they were. I'm interested in Project Management, so I joined the Project Management Institute (PMI). Anybody can join, evidenced by the fact that they let me in. I thought about becoming certified, a Project Management Professional (PMP), but I don't meet the requirements for the official certification. I'll get to that in a bit. Still, I took the company classes. Taught by PMP volunteers in the company the information is a vast storeho...

I heard the song Courageous by Casting Crowns on my way to work this morning. the background singers caught my ear during the chorus. They chanted "seek justice, love mercy, walk humbly with your God" which is from Micah 6:8, and one of my first posts in this blog, A Single Verse to Live By .   I didn't know it was called the Micah Mandate at the time. "We were made to be courageous" is a main line in the song. It got me thinking about all the times in the Bible that God tells us to be courageous. "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9. Fear is a major driver in the lives of people. I should make it personal. I fear failure, so I usually avoid trying to do things that are really hard. I aim squarely for mediocrity, and I succeed. Well, I'm at least mediocre at it. Some people are afraid to be afraid. Crazy risks, deeds o...

I originally titled this "The Final Word" but it sounded too much like my last post. I've missed posting on schedule lately, but I'm not done. Life has just been - dramatic - lately. So this isn't my last blog post, even though my two readers might not even miss me. Last night we had dinner with some close friends and they introduced us to another nice couple they knew. During the conversation this couple mentioned that before she died her mother got to the point where she could only say one word. It wasn't clear whether she seemed to have conversational abilities and was just locked into that single word or whether communication was totally beyond her. But it was clear she had only one word, which she used to express her entire state of existence. For her that word was Sunday. Well, it might have been sundae - I didn't ask for spelling, and I'm not sure whether they knew the answer to that question anyway. Perhaps it never even occurred to them...