Sunday, July 14, 2013

The Lone Ranger - a movie review

I’m not going to say too much about The Lone Ranger. I love westerns. I really wanted this movie to be good. It wasn't.
The movie opens with a small boy in a Ranger outfit going to the museum. I was that boy. Oh, we didn’t have the money for me to get the complete outfit, though I desperately wanted the hat, boots, vest and guns. I made do with the hat and some sticks. Eventually my parents relented and bought me the guns, but those are lost in my memory. 
If you were one of those boys, pay attention to this review.
The Lone Ranger was my hero. Every stick horse I ever rode was Silver. Except when I was Roy Rogers and my horse was Trigger. 
This movie is not about The Lone Ranger. Quite simply, this movie is about Tonto. As entertaining as Johnny Depp made Tonto, this is not the Tonto we grew up with. That’s okay. There was a lot of opportunity for this movie to shine.
Opportunity may have knocked, but nobody in this movie answered the door.
The Lone Ranger in this movie was a sad, unfulfilled little man who teams up with our (supposed) hero at the insistence of Silver (the Spirit Horse). Perhaps at the end of the movie our hero actually steps up to the plate and becomes a hero. I don’t know. We actually left the movie before it was over and I never saw the end. 
And I don’t care.
So on a scale of one to ten, I have to give this movie a two, because I’m sure there are other movies I’ve seen that are worse, but I can’t think of any right now.

Don't mess with my heroes.

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