O-Dark-Thirty

 Wikipedia says this about the Grandfather Paradox: the time traveller went back in time to the time when his grandfather had not married yet and killed him. As a result, the time traveller was never born when he was meant to be. If he was never born, then he is unable to travel through time and kill his grandfather, which means the traveller would be born after all, and so on. The same Wiki entry on the Grandfather Paradox also explains the "Novikov self-consistency principle [which] expresses one view on how backwards time travel could be possible without a danger of paradoxes. According to this hypothesis, the only possible time lines are those entirely self-consistent—so anything a time traveler does in the past must have been part of history all along, and the time traveler can never do anything to prevent the trip back in time from happening, since this would represent an inconsistency. … Seth Lloyd and other researchers at MIT have proposed an expanded version of ...

And there isn't much more that needs to be said about that! Enjoy the holidays. It's my favorite time of year, because even mean people act nicer. Too bad it cannot last. God bless you all which is what He did at Christmas!

Interesting point that our Pastor made Sunday. Anxiety is caused because we feel that God will not work out our issues THE WAY WE WANT HIM TO. That's hubris, I suppose. I need to get a proper alignment with God in my life. Humble yourself before God I have to remember that there is a God and I'm not him, as the line in Rudy goes. Have a proper view of God I must believe that God loves me and remember that God is all-powerful. Release your concerns to God There's a story that illustrates this. A little boy takes his broken toy to a toymaker. "Can you fix it Mister?" he asks. "It's my favorite toy." "I sure can, my Lad." So the boy stands there and waits and the toymaker looks back at him. "Well," says the boy, "are you going to fix it?" The toymaker smiles. "My Lad, in order for me to fix your toy, you must let go of it." A few years ago, our youngest daughter had a crisis at work. Her job seemed at risk. "...

I won't make this long. I treasure the few of you who are following all this, but I do tend to natter, so I won't this time. The treatment plan is decided. The Doctor ordered Apalutamide for me (Brand name: Erleada) which I will start taking as soon as I can get my specialty pharmacy to deliver the meds. That's an entirely different fight, one which anyone with insurance and specialty pharmacological needs fights time and again. Just as a heads-up, here are the listed side effects of Erleada. WARNING/CAUTION: Even though it may be rare, some people may have very bad and sometimes deadly side effects when taking a drug. Tell your doctor right away is you have any of the following signs or symptoms: Signs of an allergic reaction, like rash, hives, itching... (the list goes on but it sure looks bad) Signs of high blood pressure like very bad headache or dizziness, passing out or change in eyesight (I'm not sure what that means since I get headaches anyway, and my eyesight ...

I have not posted lately, but bear with me. I'm going to start with our latest trip to MD Anderson, which was Wednesday - pretty much all day. I had the most terrible experience while I was there. For my CT scan, the nice people put me into a room and told me to change clothes. I put my shirt and pants into the little paper bag and realized I needed to send Darling a text to let her know where I went, since she went wandering through the complex (we expected a five hour wait in the waiting room). I dug into the bag and pulled my shirt out. I removed my glasses from my shirt pocket and put them on my leg, then grabbed my phone and repacked the bag. I lost my glasses. They were totally gone. I moved the chair, unpacked the bag, checked all my clothes. My glasses vanished. Not a huge problem, since they are just dollar store glasses, but they vanished! Resigned to the loss of my glasses, I sat back down in my chair. My glasses were on my face. I'm getting old. ~ Let's review. ...

September 7 was the day that started treatment at MD Anderson. MD Anderson is a major reason we moved back to Texas. As leaders in cancer research, they engage in the most cutting-edge technologies available for cancer treatment. This first appointment was simply to meet the team, but we were especially interested in the main doctor assigned to me. Dr. Paul Corn introduced himself as a senior member of their cancer team. He understated his position. In fact, he is the Chair of the department. He shook our hands, which immediately endeared him to Darling. He gave us a standard overview of MD Anderson and of prostate cancer. Most of the latter we knew already. If men live long enough, they will almost certainly get prostate cancer. Most men die with prostate cancer, not from it. That sort of thing. What struck me most about DrC (as I will now refer to him) was his humility. He did not appear as some god-inspired gift to medicine with all the answers, but rather as a doctor who still inve...

Photo by Rachel Kramer Over three weeks. Sometimes I sit and stare at the back of my hands and wonder. How did we get here? I know the reasons, in my mind. My emotions? An entirely different story. Men aren't supposed to cry. Right? That's a rule my father taught me, with both harsh words and harder looks. And I don't want to cry. I can blame it on my current cancer treatment, an ongoing chemical castration that strips me of testosterone. Apparently my cancer feeds on testosterone. So the current method is to starve the cancer. The medical community developed this treatment in the 1940s. I'm praying that MD Anderson has something more...up to date. In the meantime the dark clouds that surround my mind plague me. Part of me broke when I left Michigan, a place I so blithely thought would be my final home, and returned to Texas, a place I so desperately fought to escape for forty years. The pain sears my heart and sneaks up on me when I'm not looking. I don't see i...