O-Dark-Thirty

In my last post I explained that my chemo was bad enough we didn’t repeat it. Dr Corn ran a scan on me that did a targeted highlight of my cancer - it was very precise, pointing out some lymph node cancer that would usually be missed with a normal scan. Good news is that I am one of the 80% of guys who can use a newly released treatment called PLUVICTO, which uses the same targeting chemicals to carry a small nuclear payload to the prostate cancer cells. Bad news is that it is a new treatment and the drug is only manufactured in the Netherlands. The soonest he could get it for me was “late March or April”. That doesn’t seem terrible, but Dr. Corn, quite frankly, doesn’t think I have that long with no further treatments. SO, that means we will go in for a once/week dose of chemo instead of a once/3 week dose. Hopefully, it will be less traumatic for my body. After all, it is one-third the amount of chemical poison in my system. He hoped that he could get me in a clinical trial on the ne...

  I had a biopsy of my liver yesterday. Not a horrible procedure, but I suppose there is always some trauma to your body when someone sticks a ten inch needle into you. I’m still tired today. I was supposed to have my second chemo session this morning, but after a conversation with my Doctor, we plan to change things up a bit. The side effects from my chemo were more severe than he anticipated. This, even after he reduced the drug potency, knowing I have low tolerance. There is also the point of diminishing returns. Doctor said to me that the chemo would only add months to my life expectancy. Well, I replied, if it takes months of chemo and chemo-related misery to add months of less misery, then what’s the point? He replied “That’s fair.” After talking about the side effects of the first session he said to me “If you were my brother, I’d not want you to keep doing this.” I thought about how nice a response that is. He really is a great guy, as well as a good Doctor. We’ll upgrade h...

Dec 5 I feel better today. I checked my pulse rate and it is in the low 70s for the first time since the Chemo. Yeah, I think it is related. Still tired, but not feeling beat up. I’ll take it. God bless you all! Dec 6 Yeah, that didn’t last. By the afternoon I ached all over. Last night my pillow got covered in hair - my hair. So, this morning we cut it short. I don’t think this will work, though. It’s still falling out in handfuls. As much as I don’t want to admit it, my beard is coming out too. Too bad. I liked my hair. Dec 7 We cut my hair very short, to minimize shedding. My pillow this morning was still covered with my - now shorter - hair. I cut my beard off.  Yeah, I look like a different man.

I think I'm starting to lose my hair, which is too bad. I have great hair. Even my brother Barry says so. Many of the other side-effects of the Chemo beset me as well. Literature mentions mouth sores, but I wasn't sure what to expect on that front. I found out. It's like I was too quick to take a bite of hot pizza all over the roof of my mouth and partly down my throat. So, not to be too obvious, but it feels the same way on the other side of that gastrointestinal tract. You figure it out. I've gone full circle, I think. Thank you, Desitin. Yeah, you probably didn't want to hear that one. I have the leg pains. Some days I feel like someone kicked me in the crotch five minutes ago - except it feels like that all day. Like today. Other than that, I feel better today. So ... yeah! I spend a lot of time complaining about the side effects, but I don't think I want to do that for this post. There are other side-effects to talk about. The blessings. I sat with Darling ...

The nurse made a point of telling us that the chemo medicine takes seventy-two hours to leave my body, and mucus will expose others to its toxic effects. If I blow my nose and my dog eats the tissue, he will now have the medicine in him. Fortunately, I don't have a dog. > I felt okay last night, but somewhat wired, which seems to be why I could create both of the previous posts and get them online. My pulse rate was pretty steady between 95 and 115. Seems high, but I think my body os working harder than I am, so I'll just keep an eye on it. That was the steroids. I finally managed to get to sleep about midnight, but then I slept fine. Darling, not so much. This is taking a toll on her. My blood pressure this morning is running between 80 and 95, so that's an improvement. I'm not having the diarrhea or the constipation. I have been drinking copious amounts of liquids, and, if necessary, drinking water. No, really. I had a lot of coffee this morning. I was already a ta...

11/22/2022 0748 I’m sitting at home and we’re waiting to leave. I plan to write my thoughts as I go through today. If you’re reading this, perhaps you are heading off to do an IV chemo session for the first time. Nervous? Worried about how it will all work out? Yeah, me too. Joshua 1:9 states “Have I not commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage. Be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed, for the Lord, thy God is with thee wheresoever thou goest.” Yeah, it’s tough to not be dismayed at all this. I don’t think I fear death, I fear pain. Death, to me, is like that trip to a very cool place and you’re leaving soon. The bag is packed (hopefully) and you just go about living your life until the morning you leave, then you’re committed and rush around and hope you did all the right planning. Except Death, of course, we don’t usually know the date of departure. Still, butterflies in the stomach… IV Chemo doesn’t seem like such a fun thing. Darling and I read all the side...